Fathers and Finances
Are fathers even important? What good do they do to families and to the world? If mothers are better at nurturing and can also hold stable job then why do we need men in the home. With almost forty percent of children being born into fatherless homes and fifty perfect of all marriages ending in divorce less and less children are having exposure to fathers in the home. Fewer and fewer children have the positive influence that a father can have on the home. Many people today say that this isn't a big deal. Many claim that fathers don't contribute much to the home and that they are not needed. But are they helpful or needed? Though the world may disagree the fact is that they are vital to a child's healthy development. My purpose today isn't to prove that fathers are useful but to talk about effective ways of connecting with family members and things that fathers can do to connect with their kids. My hope is that this will help fathers know how to be better fathers and to be their kid's friend and help teach them critical lessons.
A common misconception that many have is that they believe that video games or watching movies help people connect. They think that doing something fun together is enough. When in reality playing video games connect each individual to the game instead of to each other. The same is true for movies. Because these things are not part of reality they don't help the father and his kids connect one with another. I have seen this in my own family as we have been watching a new TV show. I am not a big fan of TV and I don't normally watch it unless I can find a good reason behind it. I felt that watching this TV show would help me connect with my siblings. But as we have been watching this show I have realized that instead of connecting with my siblings and feeling closer to them I have found myself thinking about the TV show and what could happen next. I have pondered how realistic it was and I realized that I am not any closer to my family. We make this mistake because we associate the connection with the movie or show to a close connection with our family.
Now of course this is not universal. There can be some exceptions to this rule. But the most consistently helpful way in connecting a father to his kids is by doing possibly mundane tasks with them. It can really be almost any shared task such as cleaning the house, working and doing other chores. This is actually very similar to dating and courtship. Couples connect as they share activities together and do things together that help them get to know each other better.
I remember when my father, my brothers and I built a retaining wall in our backyard together. It was manual labor and it was fun because I got to work alongside my brothers. I remember one day specifically when the whole day we carried several cubic yards of gravel from our front yard using five gallon buckets. We worked the whole day and we talked, laughed and sweat together. After that day we created a memory that I have never forgotten. Some of my fondest memories with my family have been while we have been camping and spending hours making dinner and other menial chores. Because I have been able to work, serve and get things done with my dad I feel closer to him. I feel that I can turn to him when I have difficulties and ask for his advice. I love my father and it is because of how he has connected with me.
A common misconception that many have is that they believe that video games or watching movies help people connect. They think that doing something fun together is enough. When in reality playing video games connect each individual to the game instead of to each other. The same is true for movies. Because these things are not part of reality they don't help the father and his kids connect one with another. I have seen this in my own family as we have been watching a new TV show. I am not a big fan of TV and I don't normally watch it unless I can find a good reason behind it. I felt that watching this TV show would help me connect with my siblings. But as we have been watching this show I have realized that instead of connecting with my siblings and feeling closer to them I have found myself thinking about the TV show and what could happen next. I have pondered how realistic it was and I realized that I am not any closer to my family. We make this mistake because we associate the connection with the movie or show to a close connection with our family.
Now of course this is not universal. There can be some exceptions to this rule. But the most consistently helpful way in connecting a father to his kids is by doing possibly mundane tasks with them. It can really be almost any shared task such as cleaning the house, working and doing other chores. This is actually very similar to dating and courtship. Couples connect as they share activities together and do things together that help them get to know each other better.
I remember when my father, my brothers and I built a retaining wall in our backyard together. It was manual labor and it was fun because I got to work alongside my brothers. I remember one day specifically when the whole day we carried several cubic yards of gravel from our front yard using five gallon buckets. We worked the whole day and we talked, laughed and sweat together. After that day we created a memory that I have never forgotten. Some of my fondest memories with my family have been while we have been camping and spending hours making dinner and other menial chores. Because I have been able to work, serve and get things done with my dad I feel closer to him. I feel that I can turn to him when I have difficulties and ask for his advice. I love my father and it is because of how he has connected with me.
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